My therapist gave me an interesting assignment the other day. He asked me to write what my life would have been like if I had been “wanted” as a child or felt wanted since I will really never know if I was wanted.
My mom always seemed to have the hardest time dealing with me. I was never good enough for her. It became that I was never good enough for myself. Growing up, I did not fit in with other kids; or maybe I just felt that way.
I like the picture of the different color rose. Others may not. We all do not have to like the same things. One of my favorite people in my life kept a garden. The flowers were all so beautiful and each one was different.
As a child and a young adult, I felt that I had to conform. I had to be the rose that was only one color and decide what that was. That did not work out to well for me. Parts of me are not all the same. Some of us were formed from extreme pain, while others experienced intense joy.
All of those parts make up the whole. If I did not have them I would not be me. If what happened to me had not happened, I would not be me. Maybe it took all of the hurt for me to get to where I am at right now and where I am going.
I do not think that anyone is all one color or all one kind. We are all unique and it is that uniqueness that draws us together and that we can build on.
There have been events lately where a few individuals have attempted to blame the mentally ill and the sick for problems in society. There are going to be problems in society no matter what, I would hope that we could accept people for who they are and encourage people to get help instead of hide.
To me, it feels like some have taken a step back instead of forward in their thinking. It is at times like this that I know I am different. I want to get out and speak about what I have, what happened to me, my experiences, my treatment, and my successes.
My illness does not define me, it just makes me different!!