For the past few nights, maybe weeks, I have not been able to sleep. I try all of my bedtime routines. Even sleep meds are not helping any longer. Nighttime is hard and there is just no way around it at the moment.
I choose this picture because I am not sure that sleeping was ever a skill that I had mastered. According to my parents, I kept them awake all night often crying for hours on end. For the record, I was lucky and all 3 of my kids slept 6-8 hours a night by the time they were three weeks.
I bring this up because my mother swears that there is a curse in our family that keeps us up all night. For me, it is not a curse, it is what happened to me and the effects that I still feel from those events of the past. To me, my PTSD and not sleeping go together.
If only I could go back and see what was happening when I was an infant. What life was really like and how I really was. Maybe if circumstances would have been different for me, then sleep would not be such a challenge!