Why Can't Things Be Simple

This morning started off like every other morning. Pain, trouble getting out of bed, the usual! I was so glad that I only had one appointment for today.

I should not have thought that. The next thing I know I am on the phone with a different doctor talking about tests that could lead to more specialists.

Life as a kid was not easy for me, or I would not have PTSD and the wonderful other problems that come along with it. As a kid though, life was simple. One of my favorite things are bubbles. As a kid, my aunt used to make her own “bubble soap”. I would be outside for hours watching the bubbles and the colors in them.

Getting ready for my appointment today, was anything but easy. Besides feeling really off-balance, I did not feel like hearing another doctor ask me how I was. That should be simple, if I were fine or ok I would not be in your office. You do not have to be nice to me when I know that you are going to charge me and insane amount of money to sit here for 15 minutes.

Let’s just be simple. Why are you here? Where are you having the most pain? Stop asking if I am depressed. If you had a life changing illness, I think that you or anyone else would be depressed.

Sometimes, I wish that I were those bubbles. Able to float away and not have to stay put or have anyone analyze them. To just exist would be great.

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