Knowing Where I Have Been

First, thank you again to everyone who is reading my blog. It means so much to me. I was fortunate enough to be nominated by a fellow blogger for a Sunshine Award. I am still trying to figure this blogging out, so thank you and I am looking at how to proceed!!

The other day I was talking to a group of patients in and inpatient setting, and suddenly realized that I had to know where I had been to know where I was going. Over the past week, I have looked into going back to work. It is a scary thought for me. For all of the times that I did work, I was not able to keep any one job for more than a year. That is not what I want to do at this point.

Like any job hunter I thought about my skills. There are so many that I cannot put down on a resume. Being knowledgable about the intake procedures on a psychiatric unit, helping others on the unit while being helped at the same time, lending an ear to a fellow patient, getting the results of tests that were negative just to have to go through more testing.

Then I thought about what my “marketable” skills were. I can type, yet not very fast. I like to help people. I have a CNA and I know CPR. I am not sure how these are going to help in my job search.

I do not have bumper stickers or t-shirts that say that I have any type of illness, yet me being ill is what got me here. I am stronger because I was able to leave an abusive marriage and talk about the horrible things that happened to me as a child. Today, I like myself better than I did before I was committed to a psych unit. People look different to me now. I would rather sit down and talk to someone than pass judgement.

I am proud of who I am. Maybe I cannot type 40 WPM or use the latest version of Excel, yet I can get along with a variety of people and adapt to all sorts of situations. What I have been through has made me stronger. So while, I will not be putting my hospitalizations down on my resume, I am not sure I can just forget them or move on. I am not sure how I will answer interview questions.. Well, yes I am. Honestly. I am just going to be who I am!!

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