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Too Much To Handle

**MAY TRIGGER**

Sorry about not writing. The past week has been a blur that seems to have taken on a life of its own. It all started last Monday with a trip to the vet and the cat being sick. She needed surgery and we will not find out until next week whether or not the mass removed was cancer.

This was followed by an appointment with a neurologist. I have seen every other kind of doctor, so why not? The diagnosis may be somatization disorder. Great, another mental health issue. This is frustrating because I cannot just make the symptoms go away, yet I wish that I could.

Then, later in the week, right after therapy, someone rear-ended my car. My back was in so much pain that I asked for an ambulance. Turns out my fibro had been stirred up.

Over the weekend I was dealing with the pain and trying to think positively about my cat!

This week, she had the surgery and is in some discomfort, yet overall eating and acting like her old self.

Without a car, I have had a lot of time to work on myself. It has been good in that therapy was very productive this week. The bad part is that I now know I have a ton of issues to deal with.

The eating disorder, all of the traumas, the feelings regarding the current events in my life. Feelings and emotions are things that I tend to repress and keep deep down where I do not need to deal with them.

My therapist is recommending increasing the amount of therapy each week since I am struggling with impulses. Not only that, but the eating disorder is taking over!

So I do not know where to turn right now. Life is hazy and I just want to be able to clear away a little at a time, yet it does not seem to be that way this week!

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