My mental health has not changed for 10 years. For 6 years I have seen my children overnight. Now, my ex want supervised visits and wants to come into my therapy sessions.

I feel so stuck. It is like my children are being held hostage from me because I have PTSD. Legally, I cannot afford an attorney to represent me and I do not qualify for legal aide.

I am no longer speaking to me abuser in order to remain healthy. I am taking my meds and seeing my doctors. Why is it that he can do this to me? No one has said that I a danger to my kids, in fact they are what kept me going everyday.

He lives in a million dollar home with boats and vacations. I can barely afford my doctor’s visits. Sometimes, I feel like I should go into law. There have to be others out there who need help and cannot get it.

The other wonderful revelation this week is that I cannot safely drive at this time. The therapy work is just to much and I am having to many flashbacks. Not that I can never drive again, I just need to work through all of this. The current situation certainly does not help.

Then there is my mental health. I struggle everyday to eat and to not self harm. I know that I am depressed, then again who would not be if someone were trying to take their kids away. I struggle with nightmares and often wake up thinking that I in the house and room where I was abused.

Sometimes I wonder how I am going to get through all of this. Luckily I have a supportive husband and a cat who likes to cuddle.

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