My mental health has not changed for 10 years. For 6 years I have seen my children overnight. Now, my ex want supervised visits and wants to come into my therapy sessions.

I feel so stuck. It is like my children are being held hostage from me because I have PTSD. Legally, I cannot afford an attorney to represent me and I do not qualify for legal aide.

I am no longer speaking to me abuser in order to remain healthy. I am taking my meds and seeing my doctors. Why is it that he can do this to me? No one has said that I a danger to my kids, in fact they are what kept me going everyday.

He lives in a million dollar home with boats and vacations. I can barely afford my doctor’s visits. Sometimes, I feel like I should go into law. There have to be others out there who need help and cannot get it.

The other wonderful revelation this week is that I cannot safely drive at this time. The therapy work is just to much and I am having to many flashbacks. Not that I can never drive again, I just need to work through all of this. The current situation certainly does not help.

Then there is my mental health. I struggle everyday to eat and to not self harm. I know that I am depressed, then again who would not be if someone were trying to take their kids away. I struggle with nightmares and often wake up thinking that I in the house and room where I was abused.

Sometimes I wonder how I am going to get through all of this. Luckily I have a supportive husband and a cat who likes to cuddle.

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One thought on “More of the Same

  1. I am so sorry you are going through all this.

    It does feel deeply unfair, when the PTSD has already taken away so much of our lives and then to have to fight to your children, who you love deeply, must be so deeply hard.

    I am thankful you have a supportive husband and a cat to cuddle.

    Please know, I fully understand how hard PTSD is.

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