What I use each day to get around. I used to dance and be able to run. Now, I can barely walk. It has changed the direction in my life yet again and I am going to try to go back to school yet again. The doctor the other day confirmed that I need to use the cane to get around. All I thought was that there has to be some surgery or something to stop this.

I know in some cases I am lucky. MY illnesses are not life threatening and I can still walk. Sometimes it is hard to see that. I remember when I used to dance and the feeling that it gave me to be in the studio. I cannot dance any longer and it hurts me to have to give it up. It was not my choice.

I went to campus the other day to meet with an advisor and sign up for classes. I was so tired by the time that I was finished. I am really hoping to be able to get a service dog one day. Walking any distance seems like a marathon.

So, now I am starting another program. Hopefully, this time I will be able to finish and get a job. The prospect scares me. There are days where I wake up in the morning and am ready to go, then there are the days that I barely have the energy to fix food for myself. Maybe by the time I am finished the program, I will have a service dog that can help me with balance and my anxiety.

If someone asked me where I thought I would be 20 years ago, I would have said working with kids. The reality is much different. I am trying to make the best of the situation.

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