The therapist knew about the self harm and let me go. The doctor knew about the self harm and the fact that I feel like I am going to explode. The doctor let me go. Come back on Monday. I feel like no one cares any longer. Self harm is just a part of who I am. I feel like the doctor gets their 45 minutes in and then it is just next.

I have become a number to some people. Just one more patient to see. Today, I said that I was not safe. Where am I? In my car. Go home, take the weekend. What is going to change? I have been feeling worse and worse.

Today, with all the thoughts of self harm, I was sure that I would be admitted. What do I have to say or do? When will I be able to get treatment and talk about my trauma. There are no groups and the doctor’s are overworked. The secrets will continue to stay buried!!

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