The therapist knew about the self harm and let me go. The doctor knew about the self harm and the fact that I feel like I am going to explode. The doctor let me go. Come back on Monday. I feel like no one cares any longer. Self harm is just a part of who I am. I feel like the doctor gets their 45 minutes in and then it is just next.

I have become a number to some people. Just one more patient to see. Today, I said that I was not safe. Where am I? In my car. Go home, take the weekend. What is going to change? I have been feeling worse and worse.

Today, with all the thoughts of self harm, I was sure that I would be admitted. What do I have to say or do? When will I be able to get treatment and talk about my trauma. There are no groups and the doctor’s are overworked. The secrets will continue to stay buried!!

2 thoughts on “Who Cares (May Trigger)

  1. I’m sorry 😦 I know what it feels like to be so afraid of yourself, and what you do/will do to yourself and have no one seem to take that seriously at all… it’s so invalidating 😦 I’m really sorry that that is where you are xx

  2. i completely understand. there is no “treatment” for PTSD inpatient tho. has not been for a very long time – unless you have insurance that will pay for a private ptsd / trauma unit you are SOL. Not sure what else to say except live for today. and keep living for today. try to not let the past, which can no longer hurt you, control your future. Have you heard of the website “stayherewithme”? look it up.

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