I have not written is quite a while. The last year has been crazy. I went through a huge battle to continue visitation with my kids.
It all started last January when I went into the hospital. My ex decided that it would be a good time to try to take my kids away from me. After court, lawyers, and over half of the year, we finally sat down and made an agreement. Last weekend was the second weekend that I was able to see my children overnight.
They have grown so much and I feel like time has flown by. They are no longer dependent on me for everything and do their own thing most of the time. I am lucky though. They still like to cuddle and watch a movie or on a rare occasion they ask me for help.
As far as my PTSD. I tried to go back to work. I actually got a job, yet those inner thoughts of incompetence and worthlessness consumed me. Soon, I could not focus at work and was having a hard time even doing the little things without feeling frustrated.
Eventually, I stopped working. I want to work, yet there are so many issues from the past that are affecting today. It is going to take time to work through all of them.