My body is not doing what I think it should. It is hard having the background that I do and then going intone room full of mirrors where I need to look at myself. I am trying to look at it as a challenge, yet it is hard to do. 

It is easier to find all of the things that are wrong or remember what was said. There are times when it is impossible to get out from the messages of the past. They figuratively and literally weigh me down.

I just want to go home and skip my afternoon class. That would be wrong. I am just not sure I can get through it today. On a good day it is hard to get through and today is not good. But, I am a rule followerer. I will go to class and be miserable. Then I will be able to go home and have some time to myself. Maybe I need to do some art today or journal without second guessing myself.

Time to go!! Wish me luck for the rest of the afternoon.

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