Today, I was woken by sounds outside thanks to my hyper vigilance. Thanks to the trauma and the resulting PTSD, there is nowhere to escape.
The memories are there. What happened is not going away. Right now, I am just fighting to get through each day and get finished anything.
I do not want to get off of the couch or even out of bed. My muscles and body ache. Sometimes from the fibromyalgia brought on by stress. I shake, out of my control.
When I try to do something, flashbacks fill my head and it is hard to complete any task, yet I try to fight through.
Minutes soon turn into hours. Soon, my husband is home and I cannot remember where the day went. I want to get better and have a somewhat normal life. I wonder if that will happen for me. Is there going to be a time in the future when I do not have trouble falling asleep every night and can wake up and go to a job? Only time and a lot of therapy will tell.