When the kids were little, I stayed home with them. Even when I was first diagnosed with a mental illness. The marriage deteriorated and the only place I had to go did not have space for the kids. I am not able to work and my ex’s parents are millionaires.

Fast forward many legal fights, struggles, and years later. I am lucky to see my kids every three weeks and some holidays. Easter is coming up. Holidays are so hard. The kids are not at the house enough to get them a ton of candy. I cannot afford to take them anywhere and I always question what to do. This year, I will not even see them on the Holiday. 

It is hard to write about this. I love my kids and call them every night. They are getting to the age where friends and technology are winning out. Yet they still say I love you and still hug me when they see me. 

I always feel like a bad parent, yet I did not choose to have a mental illness. At least this year I get to see them. Last year, I was fighting to them at all. 

So the question still is what to do for this holiday. Gift card? A little candy? What will they enjoy the most? 

To all of the other non-custodial parents, I hope that you have a good holiday. If you cannot see your children, hopefully you can still talk to them. 

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