Trauma changes a life. Even just one incident can completely change the path that you feel your life is going.

For years, I just thought that I could avoid talking about all those terrible times. Not have to “get my feet wet.” I just wanted to move on and live my life.

I am learning that trauma does not work that way. Not that I am diving in head first either, yet I am learning that I have to go all the way into the experience.

I hate feeling vulnerable, yet I have to expose myself in therapy. Take the mask off that I wear each day to protect myself and to let emotions out that I normally keep closed off.

Trauma work is scary. The trauma changed me and the work is allowing me to realize who I am. One area that I am passionate about is advocacy. Telling my story, working with organizations, and being open when I can. Maybe it will allow someone else to not be scared to get help or help someone to understand a friend or loved one with a mental illness.

Right now, I am working on who I am and where I want my life to go. I wish I could say the path was easy, but I cannot. I struggle. There are days when I do not want to get out of bed. The suicidal thoughts are still there. Self harm is still an everyday struggle. 

I do not know where I will end up. I am trying to work on myself one day at a time.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s