Back to school this week. I also have presentations to do for a mental health organization that I am involved with. Some of the activities are not triggering at all. Others put what I have gone through out there in the open.
On Wednesday, I am speaking to other survivors of trauma about my story. How it changed my life, how it affected my mental health, and where I am now. It is hard to look back and take that all in. I have been through so much and continue to try to get through those experiences in therapy.
Then, I need to tell my story again on Thursday. On one side I like being able to help others, on the other it makes me face my own demons. Sometimes it is the hard stuff that makes me feel better in the end. Knowing that I got through it and can go on to the next day.
There are still thoughts of self-harm. Maybe they will be there for a while. For this week, I need to take it one day at a time. There may be times when I am going one hour at a time. Just keep taking little steps forward. That is all that I can do.