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Many times I am asked if I am recovered. At least for me, that is a loaded question. 

In therapy, I still have so much trauma processing to do. I need to be able to connect with my emotions, which on some days feels impossible. I also still have thoughts  of self harm. I am working on that in therapy. Then I think that working in therapy is progress from avoiding these discussions just months ago.

Then I think about the small accomplishments. Taking a shower and getting the mail in. Making myself something to eat. Getting out of the house and going to school. Speaking about my mental illness.

For me, recovery is the small steps. At one point, I did go days without taking a shower. I was not opening up in therapy. Recovery for me is starting to do those activities that I lost. Using coping skills is also a large part of why I can take these little steps.

I still have flashbacks and panic attacks. My PTSD symptoms did not magically go away. They are still there and each day I try to get through them and do a little more. 

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