It is a rainy and cold morning where I live. The weather is not helping the fact that I just want to stay in bed.
Yesterday, was my last visit with my psychiatrist. A large part of how well treatment works is the relationship that a patient has with their treatment team. I have a new psychiatrist that I have been set up with. This person is supposed to be good and understanding. Am I going to trust this person? I am worried about forming a connection with him. I do not trust or open up to to many people.
My therapist is trying to get me to open up about about what happened to me. He wants me to try and start to draw again. There are parts inside of me that are fighting this idea. They are worried how the art will be perceived and what will be said. Art is so personal. We are not sure we are ready to share.
Then there is the overwhelming feeling of being alone. Not knowing who to turn too. Feeling lost. One of the most important people in my life is gone. So what is the next step? Do I open up more to the therapist who has also been there and is trying so hard? Will I get along and form a bond with a new psychiatrist? Only time will tell!