My symptoms are increasing more and more each day. The past and present are getting muddled. I am trying to use coping skills.

My eating disorder is starting to become out of control again. There is the cycle of binging and restricting. Which seems endless. I wish it was just as simple as follow the meal plan.

Then my marriage is being affected. I easily feel abandoned and unwanted. There seems to be a constant need for attention when my symptoms are up.

Then there is the hyper-vigilance, not sleeping, flashbacks and all of the other wonderful symptoms. I am trying not to go into the hospital.

On top of everything. The stress is causing my fibromyalgia symptoms to increase. I noticed after a dance class the other day that my knee was bothering me. I should probably go to the doctor yet I am scared of what they will tell me. Even more I am scared that I will need to start to use my cane again.

For years I have not shown much emotion in therapy. All I did yesterday was cry. It has helped to start to draw again. I keep my journal with me wherever I go. 

I need to take care of myself right now, yet I am scared to ask for what I need.


4 thoughts on “Symptom Increase ##May Trigger#

      1. Does it hurt worse than the fear of a diagnosis that you already know in your heart, hon? Have you ever considered the possibility that by the time you are DRIVEN to seek treatment, the effects of neglect and psychological toll just might have amplified a simple treatment to one that is more difficult than you endure now…or that you might be beyond help? Your body is crying out to YOU for help. If you don’t help yourself, who will?

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