Things are constantly changing in everyone’s life. Having PTSD makes those changes harder. I do not like to be surprised with events or last minute changes. It takes me long enough to mentally prepare for what is going on.
The kids are a great example. Spring sports have started up. This means that the regular visitation schedule is messed up and things are never set. A great example is this weekend. At first, it was discussed that I would just meet the kids at the field on Saturday. Now that it might rain on Friday, my ex has decided that they may be dropped off at their regular time. That changes things. Now I have to worry about dinner and getting them to their game in the morning.
Then my daughter had said that she wanted to stay with me this summer. After a few gifts from my ex and his wife that is no longer the case. I just want the agreement to go the way it should for once. Instead, I feel like my ex skirts the boundaries of what was agreed upon.
I am still waiting to see if I got accepted to a four year school for next semester. Even if I do get accepted, I have to figure out a way to pay for school. I hope I qualify for a loan!
Today I have school. Once again, things are piling up and I would rather be at home able to journal or color. Right now, I need to try and cope. I want a break, yet life is not giving me one.