I have three children that I stayed home with until my divorce. At the time, my relationship was unhealthy and the only place to go was back to my abuser’s house. There was not room for my kids there and if there were, I would not want them around them.

Long story short, my ex’s family has money and had a great attorney. One of the best in our state. He got physical custody of the children. I would see them every third weekend. It was and still is a crappy arrangement, yet after last year when he tried to take the kids away all together it is better than what it could have been.

Having a mental illness made the fight for my kids so much harder. My doctor and hospital records were summond. I was exposed more than I have ever been. My kids had a psychiatrist appointed to them. 

My kids saved my visits. They were old enough that the court would listen to what they wanted. They all stated that they wanted more time with me. That made me feel great. We even had a few counseling sessions together where they were able to ask questions about what I have.

Today, I see my kids. Yet that could all change if I have to go back into the hospital. When I am struggling, I know that I need to get through it because I am afraid to lose my kids and go through not seeing them again. 

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