My eating disorder has been an internal battle. To look at me, I look like I do not have a problem with food. Just under the surface is a raging battle. A tug of war between not eating and overeating.
There are times when I tell myself that I am not going to overeat. I am going to have a normal meal. Then I feel guilty for eating because I have eaten and part of me feels like I was not supposed to.
Going to bed feeling empty is an accomplishment. Going to bed feeling sick is a failure. I have experienced both.
Eating or not eating has become an obsession. Luckily, I have been through treatment and have coping skills. Instead of binging yesterday, I decided to go to a yoga class. It helped to get my mind off of the issue and it helped to focus me on what I was doing.
That is what I need to do. To put my health first and do what I need to do.