As my kids have grown, there have been memories that were brought up. I started thinking about what would have happened to me. I would have been hit for doing that or sent to my room all day without any food.
Ideas were imposed on me. There was not a choice to talk to someone or not, it was what my parents wanted me to do. By contrast, my kids go to other people homes and have sleepovers. They have friends. The idea of a friend is pretty foreign to me.
Now, the kids are teenagers. Yes, it brings up more memories of abuse. It also brings up the fact that my mom did not know how to handle it. She would not let me do the simple things that all of the other girls were doing. I wore undershirts well into my middle school years.
My daughter is growing and maturing like a normal child her age. She is interested in nail polish and lip gloss. She is starting to ask about ways to take care of her body. I know that the discussions that I am having with her are different than those that I had with my mom. I am open with her and let her know her limits with make-up and nails. Right now, we are starting with lip gloss. She is growing up and it is a nice feeling knowing that she can come to me and confide in me.
She has personal boundaries. My boundaries were broken time and time again without anyone helping me even when I told. Right now, I have to take it one day at a time with her and keep reminding myself that everyone out there is not a predator.