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Having a mental illness is a challenge. Being a parent with a mental illness is even more of a challenge especially when the other parent seems to be always trying to take the children away.

This weekend is my holiday. Two of my three children came. I have had a great time with the two who did come. We had a cook out yesterday and are out as a family today.

My third child was given a choice to stay at his house. That is what he choose. It hurts. I knew that the day would come when they would be upset with me. Upset about all of the times I could not see them because I was in the hospital. Upset that I was not always there because I was sick.

I guess as much as I prepared it still hurts to know that there is already one child who does not want to come. I hope that one day he can resolve his feelings and that we can talk about them. I cannot go back, only forward.