Funny. If someone did not know my diagnosis they may say that I look fine. They may say that about others that I know that are struggling with a mental illness, eating disorder, or other illness.

Look closer and maybe you will see the hints of my illness. The slight limp that I have because my knee is acting up. The way that I turn the menu over and over or cannot seem to decide on what I want to order. The way I move away from someone because I feel like they are to close to me. My phone in my hand just flipping through apps because I want to look busy and am scared for someone to talk to me.

The really bad days are the ones that most people never see. Staying in bed or on the couch all day. Debating what and how much to eat. Wanting to journal, yet being overwhelmed by all of the flashbacks. Being comforted by my husband and my cat. 

Going to school, dance, therapy, and doing other activities takes a lot out of me. Just because I am out and doing things does not mean that I am all better. It just means that I will not let these illnesses win. Those people who wanted to cut me down in the past cannot win. I need to fight and to try to go on. 


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