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When my children were born, I knew that they would one day grow up and leave home. I thought that would be for a career or for college. Life took a turn and I was divorced and lost custody of my kids before I knew it. 

Even though I have visitation, they live far enough away that I do not know their friends or much about their lives other than what they tell me. I am able to get to a few sports events and school events per year. 

My oldest is a teenager. He has not turned 16 yet and will not for a while. His father is allowing him to decide whether or not he sees me on my weekends when I am supposed to have him. I wished that he was little and I could have his father’s support to make him come. That is not the case. He is as tall as me with a mind of his own.

I still have two other children who need me. They miss their brother when he is not here. I am beginning to wonder how much longer that I have with them. 

It hurts to see other parents post things and discuss their children. I wish that I could be a “normal” mom, yet I can only do as much as I can.