Sometimes I just want all of my children to be 18. They could make their own choices about who they want to see and where they would want to stay. Hopefully, they would be less influenced by negative things that are said about people.

I want to be there for all of the graduations, dances, field trips, and games. I would love to be there to pick out dresses with my daughter for school dances or be there when the kids go on their first date. That is most likely not going to happen. I live to far away to just go and be there. There is no way I could move closer to them. Financially, it is not possible.

It is getting harder and  harder to see other parents who always have their kids or who do not have an ex that would try to take a parent out of their kids lives. It is hard to see the everyday moments when I do not have them.

I try to look on the bright side. After fighting for months, I did not lose my kids. I still get to see them and spend some time with them.

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