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Today is yet another holiday. I will not see my kids today and my husband cannot see his step-children today. Hopefully, we will be able to see them next weekend.

Holiday’s are rough. Sometimes I see the kids, others I miss. Then there are my parents. I have not spoken to them in years. It is hard not to have them in my life, yet it seems for the best. 

Today, is another show day for dance. I thought that going back to the same studio would give me some sense  of friendship, yet it has only led to more loneliness. I am just awkward at social situations. I am at a loss for what to say and feel like I need to sensor every word.

Two people were talking about depression medication yesterday. Maybe they did not realize or did not care that I was also on meds. I guess that I am different. They look at themselves as strong. They have not been in the hospital. I have been in the hospital a number of times. I feel so different.

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