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Things are just getting worse. One of my kids has chosen to stay with me. At first, my ex told her not to come back. That she was to stay here and could not change her mind.

Now, he wants her for his holiday. She does not want to go, yet I cannot violate the agreement.

On top of everything, I have to keep myself together. If I go into the hospital then it will be a battle to even see the kids all over again. 

There is such a double standard. He takes vacations on my weekends and schedules activities for the kids on my weekends, yet if I need to change a weekend, I am being a bad parent. There is no change to the schedule allowed for me.

Even having my daughter this summer. He is not sending anything with her. I am responsible for all of her needs. She is not allowed to bring anything with her.

It is just so frustrating not being able to plan anything or knowing what is going on. I am just so tired of the mind games and the fact that he seems to do whatever he wants.

The only light at the end of the tunnel is that one day they will all be 18 and be able to make their own choices. Maybe then I can finally breath. Maybe then, I can do things without always watching over my shoulder for the next disaster.