When I signed up for classes I had no clue how taxing they would be on me. Physically I am tired and because of the increase in stress my fibromyalgia symptoms have also increased.

Then there is trying to dance which is something that relaxes me. I love dancing and I do not want to have to give it up.

Add to that my IBS and the fact that I am struggling with my eating disorder. 

Somehow, I have woken up everyday and have gone to school. I have made it to class on time and have turned assignments in on time. Even though I was exhausted, I went to dance.

I am back to one day at a time. I no longer count on a break in the calendar. It seems like the calendar just gets full. Hopefully, I can get my intake under control and somehow overcome my nerves.

My kids are being typical teenagers. My middle child talks to me every night. My oldest barely talks to me once a month and the youngest is a coin toss. I love them, yet at the same time they live an hour away and their lives are there. I worry about them everyday and wonder how they are doing in school. It is a challenge not to be there for homework and phone calls to friends. This was definitely not how I pictured parenting the kids in their teens. 

I just hope that they know that I love them and will always be there for them. Sometimes I wonder if they even think about any of that.

2 thoughts on “In Over My Head

  1. You are doing so much! I hope you keep dancing though. Just try to rest when you can, soothing moments, gentle breathing and stretches. Sorry things are so tough. I think you are doing amazing with all of your challenges

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