Another morning at school. I am sitting in my car as more cars are coming in. My anxiety is high this morning. I do not feel that I can deal with all of the commotion on campus today. I really felt like staying home this morning and working on schoolwork.
Yet, here I am. I sprayed some pumpkin scent into the car. I know that when I get home I will be able to sit in front of the light box my husband bought me. It was suggested that I had seasonal affective disorder because I get so depressed in the fall. I tried the light yesterday. Today, I can sit under it for the full time.
Days just seem to be going by anymore. I am slowly gettting all of my work completed even though it is a struggle. All I see when I look out of my eyes is stress. My heart pounds and my anxiety rises. I feel trapped. Maybe I should just stay in my car for a while. Maybe that will help me to calm down. Yet, sitting in a garage scares me. What if someone comes up to my car. I really want to be at home with my cat and blanket. Able to play music and study.
Instead, I am here.