How Scary!!

I normally do not share any kind of political views on here. Warning: this is only my opinion. 

Our country was founded on differences. People have not always agreed about immigrants since we became a country, yet people were allowed in and eventually became accepted.

What is going on now is wrong. Innocent people who have done nothing wrong are being affected. They are experiencing additional trauma. 

When is it going to stop. With what group? I have a mental health diagnosis. Am I going to be a target of this president? Are the other people I know with an illness going to have resources taken away from them?

Where is this going to stop? That is what scares me. Once someone uses one group as a scapegoat it is easier to use another group. As for me, I am going to treat everyone the way that I want to be treated. People are who they are because of their differences!!

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Another Semester

On Monday I begin another semester. My classes are going to be mentally draining this semester. I already suspect that they are going to trigger many memories from the past.

I explained to my doctor yesterday that all I can do is take one day and one class at a time. I am fortunate to be able to have a few accommodations that make school a little more bearable. 

One of my classes is just on child maltreatment. I need to be able to see the bigger picture even though I know that the topics are going to be rough.

I need to make sure to eat and drink enough to be able to keep my mind clear and not get light-headed. That will also be a challenge. When I get anxious my stomach always hurts.

Then there is still therapy and seeing the doctor. Not to mention teaching one night a week. I guess that keeping busy is not so bad. It is just all of the driving and stress that goes with it. 

I will know more by the end of next week. Hopefully, I will be able to figure out a schedule that works for me.

What is Write?

Right now I am trying to apply to graduate schools. If you have been following my blog, many of you know that I have gone back to school.

Graduate schools all want essays as to why you want to attend their program. The thing is I know why I want to go into the field. I know that my own trauma and experiences have played a huge roll in why, yet I have to be careful what I write and how I write about my own experiences.

I have to be confident and determined in my purpose. I need to be able to fully complete the tasks that I will need to complete. Yet, part of me knows that my unique view on what is happening in the minds and lives of the population that I want to work with is a strength.

Today, I will be working on those essays. The essays that could get be accepted or rejected by a program. It is scary to put myself out there. I have vowed to be who I am though. Part of who I am is what I have experienced in life.

No Resolution

I have been asked what my New Year’s Resolution is this year. The honest answer is that I do not have one. For me, I take one day at a time anymore. I never know who is not going to be here the next day or if my kids will talk to me.

My PTSD is better some days than others. There are anniversaries that I know I will need to deal with and things that come out of the blue that suddenly bring up a vivid memory. School will most likely start out ok and then spiral downhill to where I barely have the energy and mental push to take my final exams.

My weight is an issue. I overeat and then I do not eat depending on the time of year and type of stress. Sometimes I need to maintain my weight, other times I need to add weight, and still others I could lose a couple of pounds. Which one it will be is constantly changing.

I want to be a part of my families and friends lives. Some of that is up to them. First I have to be invited, then I can choose to accept or decline. 

So, no, I do not have a specific resolution. I know that I have court this month and I want to get through that. School will start in a few weeks and I want to be ready for that also. There are a few shows and movies that I would like to see as well. Those are what I am starting with. Small goals, not a big resolution.