Being accepted into graduate school was exciting. Now it is just plain scary thinking about of what is ahead of me during the next to years. I know that this is the field that I want to study and work in. It is just the amount of items that need to be completed before walking in the door the first day. Their are orientations, essays, and more orientations and informational sessions. There are quizzes to determine if a program is the right fit or if I should choose another path.
Along with the graduate school requirements, there are this semesters tests and papers. These are overwhelming when paired with the items that need to be completed. I am hoping to catch up on a few papers over spring break and maybe get ahead on reading. Some of that may be wishful thinking.
Then there is all of the crap from the past that the material that I see and hear each day is stirring up. The sounds of the abuse that I cannot seem to get out of my head. I finally asked my therapist to bring in a feelings sheet. Maybe that will help me to identify what is going on in my head at the moment.
The teenagers that I teach dance to are not even working. They come into class and want to socialize and be on their phones. I cannot force them to want to dance. I am going to try and teach them the best that I can over the next few weeks in order to be as prepared as possible for their show. I need to realize that they just are not that into dancing and that they have different priorities, none of which seem to be learning the dances.
Luckily there are times I can remove myself. Like watching a TV show with my daughter or having a talk with my son. Playing a game with one of the kids. Reading a book that is not for school or just coloring. Trying to find those few moments to relax is hard, yet essential for keeping my sanity at this time.