I am in limbo. I have no idea what I want to do and seem to be self harming more and more. I thought that I knew what I wanted, now all of those plans have been ripped apart. School is gone for now. Even the hospital really could not help me. I feel like I am at rock bottom with no way to get out. I do not have any hope that things will get better.

I am still not seeing my children. I knew there was a possibility of this when I went inpatient. I just did not know that my ex would be this much of a jerk about every step in the process to get them back.

Now, it looks like I am going to be a part of a DBT group. That will last 6 months. Part of me is like what then. Will I have anymore direction than I do right now? Will there be anything that I will be able to do without becoming angry and full of rage?

I am not sure if my family understands what is going on. We could not make a fall event and now we are not invited to the winter event. I know I am different, I just hate being treated like it by those who should support me. At least a text or a call.

School, work, even just getting through the day is currently hard to nonexistent.

One thought on “The Black Hole that is my Current Situation

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