Christmas is a holiday with conflicting memories. I used to have a great time at my Aunt’s house, yet I remember my parents being forced.

This Christmas was the first Christmas that I could not see my kids because I had to go into the hospital. I felt like I was being punished and that I could not even hold it together enough to be able to see them. I had to go inpatient. I needed the staff and the support.

In two days I have a meeting with my ex to see about when I can see the kids again. I hope it will go well. Who knows with my ex.

Christmas at our home was great. I was able to see the cat stick her head into a treat bag. I received some cool art supplies and a bubble light. I was able to spend the day with my husband just relaxing.

I hope to get my kids back soon. I miss them. They at least still talk to me at night.

DBT is going well. I like keeping the diary cards each day and keeping track of my symptoms. Right now we are focusing on mindfulness. After the new year we will begin emotion regulation. I know that I need it and that I am going to need to work really hard to be able to use it.

My sleeping is like it always is. I found I get more sleep without taking sleep medication. I am going to see how it work out for the next few nights.

The holidays are almost over and for the most part they have been good. Let’s see how the beginning of the new year will go.

4 thoughts on “Somehow I got Through

  1. Your overall upbeat attitude in this post is amazing and inspiring. You rock!

    I know how hard Christmas is when you are a mom without your children. My abusive ex husband took my children from me when my son was 5 and my daughter was 2. He took them out of the country. For a total of 2 years and 7 1/2 months, I did not know where in the world my children were, or if I would ever see them again. The emotional pain I went through during that time . . . well, I don’t need to tell you, do I?

    My children are all grown up now, with grown children of their own. Those terrible years are long ago and far away. But I can never forget.

    Because I know this kind of pain firsthand, when I tell you that you are amazing, I know it’s true. God bless.

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