Getting an MSW did not work out so well for whatever reason. I am not even sure that what happened was my fault. Withdrawing from the program made me question my ability to do anything at all. All I know is that I still want to work with people.
This fall, I plan to begin a program at the local community college to be able to be a chemical dependency counselor. I am worried that it will just be another dead end. That this program will not work out either. I know that I have to try. I want to show my kids that no matter what happens in life there is always another path. Even if that path seems impossible to get through.
I surprised myself yesterday. I went on my son’s field trip. I was surprised to know and realize how excited he was and how happy he became in seeing all of the artifacts that interested him. It turned out to be a better day than I thought.
In the next week, I need to look at classes. It scares me and part of me does not want to do it. This is a hard time of year. My parents were especially harsh. They always said that I was not good enough. That loop needs to slow down in my head. I need to believe in myself and see this fall as an opportunity to be able to begin again.