Trauma. Suicidal thoughts. Self Harm. All three at once or separately they each suck.

I feel as if my doctors have thrown in the towel on me. I asked to go inpatient and was told no. I should know by now how to keep myself safe. I do not understand. If I am not safe and have been acting on impulses where do I turn? Where do I go too? I was told to go to the ER. I have done that in the past and once in the hospital, found that even the doctors did not know how to treat me.

I was given the name of my doctor who works on this specialized unit in order to be able to go back if I needed help. It has been three years since I was on the unit and am so disappointed in the way I have been treated.

I feel like I have cart blanch to act on my impulses. Nothing is going to be done if I do. I have many labels now. I wish that the doctors could see that I am a person not a label. That I am trying to work and use the techniques that I have learned over the years.

Right now I am lost. I hear my doctors saying they care, yet not doing anything. I was told yesterday that I am an adult and have every right to hurt myself! Who do I get to help me when the attitude is that I should just know better??

4 thoughts on “Where to Turn?? *May Trigger**

    1. I think that my doctor feels that I should be able to cope at home. What if I cannot? I think they feel that I have skills that I do not. I am looking into changing my treatment team. Thank you for your concern.

  1. As a nurse, I’m really disappointed to hear that this is your experience when trying to get help. The best advice I can give you is to go to the ER the next time you have a suicidal ideation you think you might act on. If you are actively suicidal they have to admit you to a unit. Unfortunately a lot of hospital units and doctors focus on getting a patient “medically stable,” and don’t have the mental health background needed to properly treat psychological disorders. We get a lot of eating disorder patients and suicide attempts on my unit and once they are medically stable they transfer to an inpatient psych facility. If you are ever admitted, it may be easier to get accepted as a tranfer into an inpatient treatment facility. Stay strong!

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