Looking back over the years with people I have made so many mistakes. Mistakes that have cost me relationships that could be strong, yet are nothing at this time.
Elementary school was where it all started. How could I pay attention to classmates when things were so bad at home? All I could do was focus on my work. I did not have the skills to socialize and drove off other classmates.
As I became older, I thought that if I knew everything that I could hide all of the shame and pain. Yet that is not what happened. I turned to those who were trouble and who people that had my back became frustrated with.
Abusive relationships cost me my friendships because I could not talk and get together with them as much as I wanted or even needed to keep the friendship going.
Today, I realized that I actually went to elementary school with a person that I only noticed in high school. They are talented and have. Become successful in what they always wanted to do. Another friend is now married with two kids. She goes to concerts and dinner with others that I had met with her over the years. Yet another person is married, yet because I spent years away, I do not know her as much as I possibly could.
Today, I have very few people that are in my life. I cannot go back and start over. I cannot get those moments and years back. The only thing that I can do is to make sure that I am there as much as possible for the people that I care about. Moments cannot be brought back.