Summer is upon us. Pools are already open to reveal us in swimsuits. Most summers, I was ok with how I looked. Mind you, it was not perfect, yet I was happy. My swimsuit fit well and I loved getting in the water. I did not care who looked at me.

This summer is different. I have tried to stop cutting and burning. Food seems to have filled the hole that those left. For a while, the binging was so bad that I would go to bed sick, yet I would do it all over again the next day. Before I knew it, I could not believe the amount of weight that I had put on.

Now, I am embarrassed to get into a bathing suit. I know that I need to work on getting back into shape and that it will take time. Part of me just thinks that it is about going and having fun with my family. Another part of me wonders what that same family will be thinking.

All that I can do for this summer is work with what I have. I am going to keep trying to eat healthy and work out.

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