When my therapist asked me how I felt yesterday I replied that I felt unreal and out of my body. It is like I am just watching things go on around me.
Maybe I feel like I do not have a say in what goes on. Life just happens. Visits with the kids, feeding the pets, and so on. It is like I am on auto pilot and cannot find myself anywhere.
I am losing so much time anymore. I do not watch TV series because I cannot remember them. I can read the same book over and over and not remember what it is about. I tune out all the time and do not even realize it because this coping mechanism has become such a large part of my life.
My therapist suggested a service dog may be a good idea in the future. One that could detect when I dissociate and be able to get me back to the present. The cost is just prohibitive at this point.
Another day has started that I honestly will not remember. The cats need to be fed in a few hours and then I am not sure what will happen.