This post is one that those in the field of psychology debate. To me, the belief that your trauma is what you make of it is complete crap. What happened to me has altered the way that I view the world. Innocuous activities become a source of panics and flashbacks.

One of my main issues is trusting each people. Throughout my life, people have revolved according to what my abuser needed. My abuser caused me to fear the people and places around me. That began at age 3. A 3 year old believes their caregiver. By believing, I was scared that if we were out someone was going to take me or hurt me.

Being touched was painful. No was not a word that was respected or listened too. Obedience was necessary to survive. Even if that meant pain. Eventually, I just inherintly knew was expected of me. I followed knowing that I did not have a choice. To the day, I cannot even pick out a place to eat or answer what my favorite color is because that was drilled into me.

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