Hope is a word that I thought I would never use. Right now, I have to have hope. Hope that I will get better and hope that those around me will come through at a difficult time. Tomorrow, some amazing future nurses are going to be pinned. They have all worked so hard for that honor. I would be blessed to have any of them take care of me. I wished that my body would have been able to get through my last semester. Instead I saw specialists. I had hoped for an answer back when the pain started to get really bad around this time last year. My dream at that time was that there would be a treatment or surgery to make it better.
That was not to be. Now, I am hoping for a chance to get a service dog in order to live. To assist me to not look over my shoulder all the time. To help me remember my medicine when I forget. To get me out of the house because he/she needs a walk. I know that times are tough. My husband and I started a web page tonight for donations in order to pay down the mountain of medical bills in the file cabinet and help with the cost of the dog. At this time there is only one place in the US that trains Mental Health Service Dogs. I would be so lucky to have an opportunity to receive one.
Tomorrow morning I go to see my therapist. I never thought that I would ever be seeing a therapist, let alone looking forward to going. I would like to keep this feeling of optimism. We shall see what the future brings!!
PTSD and beyond 