Today, I realized that my trauma history could make it extremely difficult for me to find a position in the area that I have chosen to study. I was informed that due to my history, I may not be able to handle the stress of the position. That people who do not have any history sometimes cannot handle the stress.
Things went as I always thought that they would. People are always going to wonder if a person who has experienced trauma can handle other people with trauma. Can I move beyond my history? Can I be effective? Will I get burned out? all of those are very real possibilities that I have worked through when contemplating doing this field of study.
I just wish that people could look at what I would bring to their organization. That I could actually make things stronger and look at things from a different point of view. The worse part is that I may not be able to find a field placement. That no-one would want me after reading about me and why I want to do this work. Time will soon show what is going to happen. Maybe I was accepted to grad school, yet will not be able to even get past the first hurdle.